I started drafting this blog post in February 2025. It’s a reflective one. The kind of writing that requires you to slow down and be honest about what you’re learning, unlearning and becoming while translating it to writing. I wanted every entry to capture my process in real time. How I navigate hurdles as they come and how I stay aware of the habits that shape my mental well-being.

Publishing this now just feels right. I originally planned to release it on the last day of Men’s Mental Health Month (November). You know to give it that kind of symbolic full-circle moment but I needed a little more time to refine a few thoughts. I decided not to rush what matters. Even if this wasn’t published on November 30th, I believe it will still reach the people it’s meant to reach, exactly when they need it.

When I first started blogging, it was strictly about mental health. I shared tips I’d tried, things I’d read and practices that genuinely helped me. But over time, the blog evolved into something more personal. I wanted my readers to not only pick up from the nuggets I shared, but to connect with me. To see the journey behind the information I put out.

Seven years and ten months later, here we are. Still learning. Still growing. Still figuring it out. One honest reflection at a time. So thank you for staying with me on this journey.

Okay, let’s get right into the blog post.

1. It’s okay not to have an opinion about everything

Silence doesn’t always mean lack of confidence or lack of information. And the reality is, not everything deserves your voice. Make a conscious effort to choose where your energy goes. Your choosing not to react doesn’t have to mean ignorance. It could mean intention. It’s learning that your peace is more important than proving a point. And sometimes the best thing you can do for you is to simply say, “I don’t have a position/opinion on this,” and leave it there.

2. You’re allowed to outgrow the version of you that others are comfortable with

People naturally grow familiar with who you used to be. That is, the version of you they first met, with your early habits, fears, quirks and limits. And sometimes, when you begin to change, it can feel like the world doesn’t quite know how to adjust with you.

But I’ve learned to hold this truth gently; “You don’t owe anyone the performance of your past self.” Growth feels uncomfortable, always, but it’s part of becoming who you’re meant to be. Outgrowing old versions of yourself is not betrayal. It’s progress.

3. Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety

This line is pretty much the heart of Stoicism. And honestly, it might be my favorite principle on this entire list. It was originally expressed by Plato. Plato was a student of Socrates, teacher of Aristotle, and arguably one of the most influential thinkers in Western philosophy. Basically the OG of “deep life advice.” If you’ve never looked him up, I genuinely recommend it. Reading about him feels like opening a window into how humans have been trying to figure out life for thousands of years.

I first heard this statement from one of my favourite lecturers. He was prepping us for an exam, everyone was stressed out of their minds and then he said it. Casually, like it was nothing. But it hit home. So, when I went home, I looked it up, read more about it and somehow it started lingering with me everywhere. And the more I sat with it, the more it reshaped how I move through life.

There’s something strangely freeing about fully accepting this idea. Almost like a lightness you didn’t realise you needed. The whole point is simple; protect your inner peace by focusing on the things actually within your control. Everything else (the noise, the chaos and the expectations of the world) belongs to the “affairs of men,” and stressing over it won’t change a thing.

Life has way too many moving parts for you to micromanage every outcome. Things fall apart sometimes. Imperfection is part of the human package deal. And no, this isn’t an excuse to slack off or stop trying. If anything, it’s an invitation to give your best without destroying yourself in the process.

I’ll be honest. I’m ambitious to a fault and a perfectionist at heart. That combo can turn the simplest task into a marathon and steal the joy from things that should feel meaningful. I still struggle to find the balance. But I’m learning. I’m learning that I don’t hold all the keys. That some days, the best I can do is show up, put one honest foot forward, pray about it and let life take its course. And somehow, that’s enough.

4. Protect your peace like it’s gold

Anything that costs you your peace is expensive, and sometimes we don’t even realize the price we’re paying until we feel overwhelmed.
I’ve learned to guard my mental space with the same seriousness I give to my physical health. Learning to say “no,” stepping back or excusing yourself. These are not escapes, they’re boundaries. And boundaries are often the difference between burnout and balance.

I’ll be honest, it hasn’t been at all easy to practice this especially as someone who feels deeply. It took months, even years, to accept that it isn’t selfish to protect my mental space. But learning to be intentionally indifferent and set boundaries has become one of the most liberating principles I live by. Here are a few calm, intentional ways to set boundaries while keeping the conversation respectful.

5. Your emotions deserve space not suppression

It’s no secret that for generations men have been taught to hide their feelings. To bury anything that looks like vulnerability. That kind of emotional armour might look strong from the outside, but it’s taken a real toll. We see the effects today in rising rates of depression among men and in the heartbreaking numbers around male suicide worldwide.

Society is slowly trying to undo this damage. You can see it in campaigns, conversations, and the growing wave of “men’s mental health” awareness. It will take time, maybe generations, but little by little, we’re moving in the right direction.

But here’s the part that feels most important to me; whether it’s being a grounded and confident gentleman, a thoughtful friend, a tender brother, a son who brings comfort, a supportive partner or a father who shows up, it doesn’t start with toughness. It starts with self-awareness. It starts with understanding your own emotions, being able to decipher them appropriately, being honest about them, and learning how to communicate them without shame.

So give yourself permission to feel, fully. Name what hurts. Acknowledge what scares you. Celebrate what excites you. Your emotions aren’t a flaw or a burden. They’re signals. And listening to them won’t make you weak. It will make you more steady, more self-aware and more human.

6. Comparison is the fastest way to lose yourself

You probably may not even catch your self doing this. It can be very subtle sometimes. A very brief moment when you look at someone else’s life and start measuring yours against theirs. But the truth is you’re doing better than you think. Your progress may not look loud or dramatic, but it’s real. It’s steady. But most importantly it’s yours. You’re allowed to take your time and honour your own rhythm. Create space to rediscover who you are and what truly matters to you and exert your energy along that tangent. I saw a tweet on twitter recently and it said; “Fulfillment doesn’t come from overtaking someone, it comes from becoming someone.” I love it.

You are doing far better than you give yourself credit for. And when it feels hard to remember that, focus on your own path and keep nurturing what’s yours.

7. You can’t pour into anyone if you’re empty

Helping people feels good. Being there for the people you love is meaningful and sometimes their relief is enough to make everything worth it. But I’ve learned that giving without taking care of yourself eventually empties you. Generosity without boundaries slowly turns into burnout.

So yes, show up for the people who need you. Just remember, taking care of yourself first isn’t selfish. It’s what makes you capable of showing up in the first place. When you’re whole, you’re better for everyone around you.

8. Consistency beats intensity everytime

If you’ve been with me on my blogging journey long enough, you probably saw this coming lol. I talk about consistency every chance I get. Not because it sounds good but because it works. The funny thing is, it’s usually the simplest habits that fall apart first. Not because they’re hard, but because we get impatient.

And trust me, I’m not speaking from a pedestal. There are still habits I bail on more often than I’d like to admit. Not for lack of effort, but simply for lack of staying power. So I won’t drag this point out. Just know this; consistency isn’t glamorous, but it’s the only thing that actually moves the needle. Motivation comes and goes but discipline stays. And I’ve learned that tiny, routine actions build far more progress than rare bursts of intensity. The quiet work nobody sees is what shapes the person everyone eventually notices. Ten minutes of reading daily beats reading 200 pages once. A short walk beats a gym obsession that lasts one week.
The quiet, patient routines. That’s what saved my mental health; journaling ten minutes daily, praying for ten minutes first thing in the morning, daily affirmations before stepping out, meditating ten minutes before retiring for the day. These are game changers that have helped me greatly.

9. Faith is my anchor when nothing makes sense

Some days, life can feel bigger than your capacity. And you may feel as though your effort is not enough to sail you to your target point. That’s where faith steps in. It helps to remind myself that I’m held by something steadier than my fears. Faith may not solve every problem but it keeps me grounded when the ground itself feels shaky.

I’m a Christian, a Presbyterian for that matter and so I understand not to confuse grace for luck. I believe that there is a God who sees me, guides me and covers me even when I don’t understand the path. And this verse anchors me every time:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

It’s my reminder that even when the road ahead is blurry, I am not walking alone. And I hope it affords you the same relief it does me everytime.

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Today is 6th December 2025, currently 10:32pm, seated behind my desk and I have only now gotten inspiration for the tenth principle. Sigh, finally.
It dawned on me as I was in the shower. So hopefully this blog post should be released in a week. Tops.

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10. Lose yourself in something that feeds you

One thing I’m learning is that having something to genuinely look forward to is a privilege. A small joy. A quiet anchor. So whatever hobby you enjoy, hone in on it.

As an overthinker, I’ve realized that an idle mind rarely stays idle, it wanders. And without direction, it wanders into places I’d rather not visit. So giving my mind something meaningful to settle into isn’t just a hobby, it’s a form of self-care. For me, that thing is reading. Outside academics, that’s where I disappear. I fall into fictional worlds, real stories and ideas bigger than me. Whatever peaks my interest. Now the funny part is I get too invested sometimes. A plot twist can ruin my day. A suspenseful chapter can have me pacing the room. And if a character starts making questionable choices? I’ll happily close the book and protect my peace. Because why would you want to stress me? Erh Soledad, why?

But that’s the beauty of it. For a moment, I’m somewhere else. Thinking about something else. Feeling something else. For you, it might be movies. Or drawing. Or video games. Or long conversations with people you love. Or trying new restaurants. Whatever gives you that dopamine which makes you feel like you’ve conquered the day, follow it. Do the thing that makes you forget time. Even if it’s just for an hour. Because sometimes, the simplest way to take care of your mind is to give it something joyful to chew on…a hobby.

And that’s a wrap! Not just for this post, but for the year. If you made it all the way here, thank you. Your support really means a lot.

A quick note: after my previous post, a few people mentioned issues with the comments and contact form. The tech team has fixed those, so I’d love to hear your thoughts this time. Whether you agree, disagree, have something to add, or want to share your own principles. I’m all ears. If you have topic ideas for future posts, feel free to reach out through the contact form or email me at [email protected]. Also, if you haven’t already, consider subscribing to the mailing list below. You’ll get an email whenever a new post goes up.

Thanks again for reading. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Take care of yourself and each other. Love ya. ❤️🎄✨

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